Paradise Philippines

last night, as i was organizing my things for school, i came upon a tiny piece of scrap paper which sent me to bed all smiles and totally made my day. it was the piece of paper wherein i mapped out our schedule for the whole month, trying to insert some organization into sweetheart's and my school life.

he is in the habit of thinking up random thoughts and writing them down in whatever piece of scrap he could find, this much i'm aware of. anyway, as i was examining the scrap last night, i noticed his miniscule writing, composing a piece of grabled phrases which read:

"she smells like candy and i want to have a toothache. i can't make her smile at the time i expect her to, maybe i've been her clown for quite a long time already. (we've known each other since freshmen years)"

i know, i know. it was a little something, but the thought of him thinking about me out of nowhere, and writing about me just pulled the corners of my lips up.

it made up for the suckiness of this day, even. SMART and my celphone are both fucking up, and it has put him in a terrible temper. we haven't seen each other for days now, and it has put him over the edge. gad i miss him so much.

yeah, yeah, we have got to be the mushiest couple in the cyberworld of tabulas (next to us, riz and mikks, hehe). i miss him. 2 more days. *heavy sigh*

i have TWO layout ideas, and i am itching to get started.

that's all for now.

:: politics: the PNP refused to give a public apology to the man they have mistakenly and arrogantly arrested, reasoning out that even the best of policemen commit mistakes. well lemme tell you something, mister. an honest mistake and/or a mistake that everyone can commit is still a mistake, and you owe the guy an apology for dragging him to humiliation and for traumatizing his family. thankyouverymuch.

:: school: i'm spending the (hopefully) last 5 months of my life as a student. not to get all sentimental or anything, but this year is turning out to be the best year ever. not yet ready to tell the details. it'll all leak out of this blog somehow.

:: harry potter and the GOF: the trailer was just superb. goodness i can't wait. sweetheart, we have a date. CHO CHANG is sooooo beautiful. and so is Hermione.

:: blogging: they say that computers and the internet are useful tools to pretend to be somebody else, or may just pretend to be somebody. you can say you're cute and pretty and have big boobs and say that you're a smart funny popular person, and your audience will be none the wiser. but really, i find that this blog is the only place where i can totally be myself.

:: ... : they say that broken glasses can never go back to what they once were. you can try and put the pieces back together, but the cracks will still be visible--like ugly scars from a deep, old wound.

:: love: we continue to come accross hurdles and obstacles, big and small. he held my hand when i was afraid, and now i'm holding his. i know that there are more still to come, perhaps worse than what we've bee through so far, but i have no plans of dropping it. and we continue to overcome everything--because we are stronger and bigger than those measly pesky problems.

TWO YEARS nako dito sa tabs.

happy birthday tabbie, happy birthday tabbie, happy birthday happy birthday, happy birthday tabbie.

chalamat sa mga sumusunod:

:: sa aking mga prenships dito sa tabs, na dumamay sa aking mga kalungkutan at nakisaya sa aking kaligayahan. maraming pagkakataon na ang mga pagdamay niyo sa inyong mga comments ang nagpataba ng aking  at nagpagaan sa aking loob. washushu. salamat! kila Tal (hoy mag update ka naman), Edi (si tonton pasaway), si Nia (kabarkada ko!), Riz (na runner-up sa ka-mushyhan), ang nawalang si Ryza (balik ka na), kay Meri (na adik talaga mag layout), kay Kat (na laging malungkot, sana masaya ka na), kay Kalowi (tinatamad pakong gawin yung layout mo), si Jenny (na todo suporta sa aming labtim), kay Mitch (na hindi tiga tabs pero dumadalaw parin), at sa lahat ng taong nakikibasa sa entries ko. alabyuol!

:: kay Jonas, kasi siya ang nagturo sakin ng makulay na mundo ng tabulas.

:: sa mga ninakawan ko ng codes at pics para sa layout. pasensya na. haha

:: sa mga nagsabing maganda ang layout ko, salamat, mwa

:: kay roy, na siyang may-ari ng tabs

:: sa aking switart/prince/all-time protector/ego-booster/good influence/surrogate kuya/bespren/labidoods. alabyu!

ispiking op da debil, bertdey din ni switart nung 7. pumunta ko sa kanila, kaya masayang masya kami. for reasons that only a few people know, it was a very big chance that we got. and we are so, so grateful.

Tita Lab (his mom), Lo, and I bought a cake, pancit, barbeques, softdrinks, sapin-sapin and loads of other food. we spent the day playing cards and yoyos (what is it with yoyos anyway, suddenly they're everywhere), eating and fooling around. I made some Graham Balls (which he called Alexander Graham Balls, haha) and even though i was ashamed of it (it was not so good) he was prou and made everyone eat it, whether they wanted to or not. haha. i was glad he liked my gifts, but that was not all. here are my cyberpresents for my birthday boy.

cuties.

pahabol lang:

gaa na prenster namin. magsawa kayo sa mukaha namin, heheehhe.

:: tetronauts ampucha. haha. i spent the whole of yesterday with him. yes, again. so what? i enjoyed every minute of it. that's the thing. i expected to get crowded and suffocated, like i was once before, but i'm not. every little thing we do is such fun, i cannot even think of getting tired of this. no effing way.

:: in case you're all wondering what tetronauts are, well, that's what we were yesterday. at least for a few minutes, hehehe. we played TETRIS on Gauvin's Xbox, and the story is that we, the tetronauts, have to save the Tetroids (yeah occupants of tetris world). swithart won most of the games. he cheated. *wink*

:: we also played pusoy dos, a game in which we made Gauvin eat dust. wahahha. i cooked Pancit Canton for them. swithart says that i'm the only one who got to cook Pancit Canton just the way he liked it.

:: anyway, "DIRECTION" is totally in my academic life now. much thanks to my boyfriend/bestfriend/surrogate kuya. he's the only one who was able to make me do this. i never studied for anyone, not even for myself. haha.

:: and im totally mad at those trigger-happy policemen who shot three carnapping suspects, and was caught planting a fake evidence (a gun) to make it seem like the suspects were fighting back. they are not policemen, they are savages.

:: i'm getting addicted to covering books. i must've covered at least 20 books so far since last sem break. swithart says that i'm a good, um, book-coverer. hehe.

:: and nothing, as in nothing could annoy me nowadays. even certain people who used to be such pains in the you-know-what has ceased to be annoying and now, they're just downright funny. every poke they stick out at me and my temper does nothing except make me laugh.

[[edit]]

:: i'm gonna make a new layout for him. and for myself as well.

watching Oprah last night kind of gave me a sick, horrified feeling inside. but it also made me feel grateful that i do not have the kind of (expensive) sickness that Oprah's guests has.

it was all about girls who are addicted, becoming addicted and/or recovering addicts of plastic surgery. yeah a sort of modern form anorexia and bulimia. it all stems from this overwhelming feeling they had to perfect themselves, physically, that they are unknowingly getting addicted. one guest, someone who has a loving husband and family, is on the brink of getting divorced because of all the excessive plastic surgery she wanted and still wants. another guest, a recovering addict, posed nude just so she could finance her implants and nose jobs and collagen and botox procedures. her forehead doesn't even move anymore because of the botox procedures she's done. she had every single thing done to her body-- breast implants, liposuction, cheek implants, silicone injection for her lips, botox and collagen and God knows what else. and then there's this pretty girl who had her nose done over and over--slimmer each time--that now, she could barely breath. she was told that one more nose job will cause her nose to collapse, and she didin't care.

and yeah, i felt horrified at the lengths that these women were willing to go to just to feel good about themselves. nowadays, more and more women are resorting to crude measures and plastic surgeries to better emulate western standards of beauty.

and i feel thankful because i do not have that kind of sickness. imagine feeling ugly every single day of your life. im lucky because i do not have to spend hours in front of a mirror over-analyzing myself and i do not feel the need to spen thaousand (maybe even millions) just to feel beautiful.

of course, nowadays it's hard to feel ugly at all. not when he tells me every day how beautiful he thinks i am. well maybe only to him, but what the heck. his is the only opinion that matters anyway.

kelangan talagang isingit yon eh no?

hindi sakin, kay switart.

ako naman. bwahaha.

....abangan

for several reasons, i wasn't really all that impressed with HP Goblet of Fire movie. yes, the effects were great, and the truth is that i watched just for the sake of seeing how the Yule Ball looked like, and the golden eggs and the dragons and the merpeople and.. well, you all know what i mean. but nothing else aside from the effects was worth watching.

:: for one thing, is it just me, or has Emma Watson's acting is a tad too hammy in this movie? there were scenes wherein she was crying (or forcing herself to cry, more like), i thought she looked constipated.

:: i hated the kidnapped scene under the lake. The sleeping Ron, Cho, Hermione and Gabrielle were so obviously dummies, it was disgusting.

:: i thought that the Champion's role was overly underwritten. they must have, what? two lines each?

:: the red herring that was Ludo Bagman was completely written off

:: Dumbledore in the movie was really not Dumbledore-y. Dumbledore is always calm. he never gets mad.

:: It was not clearly explained why it was important that Harry wins the tournament, and why he needed to touch the TriWizard Cup first.

:: They didn't explain why Harry and Voldemort's wand connected and why Voldemort's wand regurgitated it's latest victims.

:: i hate the ghosts who came out of You Know Who's wand. in the book, they weren't ghostly, they were of smoke.

and maybe i am over reacting but you see, i'm such a book addict that i tend to learn every detail by heart (i'm not exaggerating you can ask my friends) and when something is lost, i am overly disappointed. i think that the director ought to have included the most important parts and not just the flashy ones so he could show off their effects. they should have been more considerate to viewers who doesn't read HP books.

this is one of those times where i fully appreciate what Jessica Zafra wrote in one of her books, that when you watch a movie based in a book, the director was the one who chewed it and spit it out for you to swallow. something will always be lost in translation.

although i must say, Voldemort looks exactly like i pictured him.

Another book-turned-move i watched was sweetheart's monthsary gift for me, a VCD of Little Women. Little Women (by Louisa May Alcott) is one of my all-time favorite books. for some reason, i really loved the movie. and Kirsten was really adorable (forgive me, you know i'm a fan). i guess it's because that the parts i liked best were not taken out (Amy's clothes pin, Laurie's playful ways, Amy and Jo's fight, etc.). but i don't like the fact that Beth was played by Claire Danes. Beth is my favorite character in the book. and although Claire Danes is very pretty, she is certainly no Beth. i mean, wasn't she the one who came to the Philippines and whined about dirt and smoke and whatever else? knowing this about her made her acting seem fake. and Daisy and Demi's chapter wasn't included, although they were in the movie. such adorable babies. :D

so many blessing are coming my way these days. i'm happy the way things are going. the past few months have been really tough. I've lost some, but i gained much. i let go of a few things but i kept those that are dear to my heart.

and i'm happy that we're still here, breathing and fighting in spite of everything. i know, three months is hardly anything to brag about, but if (only if) for some reason, i end up all alone, i'd still make the same choices. i had more reason than anybody else to doubt his sincerity and intentions, given the circumstances, but i trusted my instincts and i took the plunge. and i'm glad i did.

this has been the best three months i've ever had. no kidding. :D

DeviantArt is the ultimate haven for computer art freaks like me. i swear.

wag kayong tutulad sakin. hobby ko ngayon, saktan ang sarili ko (hinde ko nag hihiwa ng sarili ah, kumusta naman yon, ibig ko sabihin, emotional pain. iklaro lang). kundi naman, maghanap ng mga bagay na ikasasama ng loob ko. haha.

tapos ngayon, matatawa na ko. para kase kong tanga.

haha. minsan, ang weirdo ko.

SEA Games na. busy na sweetheart this week. Wednesday lang kami magkikita. tsktsk. badtrip yun, pramis. pero ayos lang, kase after nito, maraming maraming maraming compensations. diba switart? labyu! mwa!

proud ako sa kanya (obvious ba). natutuwa ako kasi masyang masya sya nung kinukuwento nya yung press con, natutuwa sya dahil nabatid nya na makapangyarihan ang kanyang Press ID. haha, kakaaliw. parang sasabog na sya sa saya. nagniningning pa ang mga mata. haha, baduy na yan, tama na. para nanaman akong engot nyan.

daming pressure. malungkot ako kasi matagal ko syang di makikita. masya kasi may naachieve sya, at may magagandang experience. kinakabahan sa mga kailangan tapusin. gusto ko ng madaliin ang oras, yun bang tipong mga 10 years from now na. para may stable job and income na kami. para... yun lam niyo na yun.

yun nga lang di pwede. daming kelangan gawin. tapusin. patunayan. may mga tao sa buhay namin ang gusto kong maglaho, pero lam ko may dahilan kung bakit nanjan parin sila/siya. matagal ko ng pinagppray na sana, matanggal na yung galit ko, na sana hindi ko nararamdaman yung inis, na sana mapatawad ko na lang sila/siya sa mga kagaguhan na ginawa nya sakin. pinipilit ko naman. may times na nagagawa ko, pro mas madalas hindi. ok lang, kasi pag kasama ko siya, parang katangahan pa kung papatol ako. kaya hanggang ngayon, good girl pa rin si camz. dahil yun sa kanya.

matagal na kong di nag ffriends-only post. nararamdaman kong malapit lapit ko nanamang gawin yun.

sweetheart, i look forward to the day when the SEA games are over. good luck, i know you can do it! i love you! mmmwa!