Paradise Philippines

ayoko sana mag mura. pero tangina. sorry nalang kung may naooffend jan.

naniniwala ba kayo sa women's instinct? ako oo. lalo na yung instinct ko. pag kinabahan ako ng walang dahilan, sooner or later may mangyayaring sobrang ganda o sobrang sama sa buhay ko. natutunan ko na yan over the years (over the years daw oh haha). dahil talagang ganun ang nangyayari.

madalas akong kabahan ngayong mga araw na to.

at malapit ng masira ang ulo ko. sana kung anuman yung manyayari na yun eh mangyari na sana. mabuti man o masama.

my senior year's turning out to be really interesting.

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alam niyo yung tanga? ako yun eh.

*habang kumakain sa jollibee*

mommy: sayo nalang yang kanin ko
camz: ayoko busog na ko
mommy: busog ka na pala bakit pa tayo kumain
camz: di pa ko kumain, ang sabi ko busog na ko ngayon, hindi kanina
mommy: baka kasi nakipag date ka
camz: hindi ko naki pag date
mommy: eh bakit naka ngiti ka?
camz: eh nakakatawa ka eh
mommy: baka nakipag balikan ka na
camz: yak hindi ah
mommy: siguro yan yun *toot toot tooot toot* no?
camz: hinde ah!
mommy: naku naman. inanak lang kita eh

i am such a horrible liar.

ÜÜÜ

can sleep be substituted by happiness?

im seriously lacking with one and overflowing with the other.

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sometimes, when we become so overcome with our feelings, we tend to focus on that alone.

in a way, it's like looking at the sun. you can't help but stare at its dazzling beauty, and even when you look away you can't see anything else.

i've been floating too much this days. maybe its about time i started thinking about what's real and what's not.

camz' mind + camz' "frail" heart (according to tel) = messy, messy life.

but happy.

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got this from hanne.

"Psych Test": A story about a girl. While at the funeral of her own mother, she met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy. She believed him to be, that she fell in love with him then and there. A few days later, the girl killed her own sister. QUESTION: what is her motive in killing her sister? <no trick answers> try mo sagutin. Parang peronality test din kasi ito.

ang sagot ko? baka nag away sila ng sister nila. siguro nainlove din yung sister nya dun sa guy o whatever. ewan ko ba bakit yun yung naisip ko. medyo katangahan eh. haha. pero sige sagutin niyo.

 

 

 

kung may sagot ka na, scroll down beybeh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanchararan!

ANSWER: she was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again... if you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was designed by a famous American psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a KILLER. Many arrested serial killers took part in this test and answered it correctly. If you didn't answer correctly, good for you.  If your friends hit the Jackpot, may i sugget that you keep your distance.

*hanne, di ako pwede sumama sa paghahasik ng lagim.

ay grabe. prelims week na at sandamukal ang gawain pero ayos ah. haha. nakuha ko pang mag blog. galing mo talaga camz. wehehehe.

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leche. daming gawain. pressure pressure pressure. kaya mo yan camz. tangina. kung nakakamatay lang pag-aaral.

di pa rin ako mamatay. bwahaha. di naman ako nag aaral eh.

bakit kaya tumatamad ang tao pag tumatanda? eh nung kinder ako, most diligent awardee lang naman ako. bwahaha. 100 years ago, masipag ako. haha.

[[edit]]

i'm tired of staring at the sun. really, really tired.

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*swiping at the cobwebs that has formed in my site from lack of use* :D

the best prize is a surprise. that's what Willy Wonka said.

but the thing about surprises is that just when you start thinking you have it under control, it turns around and comes hurtling back at you, catching you by, duh, surprise.

like when you think you're gonna shock the hell out of someone then it turns out, you're the one who's in for a surprise.

my life nowadays are full of sharp turns, hidden corners. but i'm not as scared as i was before because someone is holiding my hand. someone is bringing out the best in me. someone is here for me. someone is here for me. here. for me.

and i have no idea how it happened. i didn't plan it. i just found myself in this "mess" (and what a blissful mess it is), and my fears are dissolving, one by one. and i like what it does to me.

i am overly fond of everyone around me. no matter how bitchy or cruel or annoying some people are, it seems like nothing they say could touch me. everything simply bounces off.

i don't have a boyfriend you guys, just so you know. let's just say i found comfort in the least expected place.

hoy kat, ayan nagupdate na ko. hihihi.

[[edit]]

omg. omg. o.m.g.

i wonder, if he's the one who revealed himself, why am i the one who's feeling vulnerable?

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"i am a person of many qualities. i am neither here no there. i am either white or black coz i am always in shades of gray. perhaps this is the reason why i always want everything around me in clarity-- black or white. all or nothing. i am a combination of every quality you can think of. i always smile becasue its all i have. but the biggest smile can hide the most painful memories. i hate lies. so i tell everything the way i see it. and i'm going to tell you right now-- im not the girl i used to be. i went to school this year and i changed. i'm no longer innocent. i no longer believe that there is a prince thats just for me.
i'm a lot stronger now."

--written three months or so ago for the about me section of my friendster profile.

gah. i can't believe how cold hearted is sound. who could blame me though? i've just been screwed by yet another pathological liar, and i'm just fed up.

funny how different things look in retrospect. back then, i thought this message would prove that i'm fine, that i got out of it unscathed, that he never got the best out of me, that i am not affected. but now, i just think i sound bitter.

and i've said this once before, and i will say it again. hanggat meron kang gustong patunayan, apektado ka pa rin. hindi ba? ngayon? wala na. naka move on na si camz. hehe. hapi feys na ulit.

someone sent me an ecard today, and it said: "the simplest things mean the most". i think he's right. and i think, that happiness can be found in the simplest things, in the most unexpected places (cliche amp wahahaha)

like scribbled little post-it notes. like the space inside someone's arms. like the space where your fingers fit between his.

like simple friendster messages.

pagpasensyahan nyo na ko mga prens. masaya lang talaga ko these days. kaya ako bangag. well lagi naman. mali pala. kaya ko MAS bangag. wahaha.

i already watched The Wedding Crashers. finally. watched three times in a row too. harharhar.

I really love Rachel McAdams. but i did think that her role was overshadowed by Gloria's (played by Isla Fisher) role. funny character. hahaha. fell in love with her.

The Flame's Newsletter came out. i'm one of the lay out artists. yeahyeahyeah. may silbi na ko sa AB. bwahaha.

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being an observant person by nature, looking around myself at the others around me is second nature. seeing people, places, events, lessons that may actually be of some purpose to me in the future.

lately i've been thinking a lot about me and the people around me. i've been thinking that some people are so intent on saving their own asses, not caring about who they might step on or what they might destroy.

and i am absolutely amazed (appalled?) at the depths at which some people are willing to sink into just to save face.

no pun intended.

hanne and i got over it. the gap which stretched out between us since last summer, we finally talked about it and it was like nothing ever changed. well, except that jhoey and chloe wasn't with us.

hanne and i have always had our ups and downs, and still our friendship takes us beyond whatever trial we came accross. i can't tell this straight to her face (since i am such a shy type person, herherher) so i'm gonna blog about it instead. kunyari di nya mababasa. para di ko mahiya.

mahal ko yan. ayokong nakikita siyang nasasaktan. when someone hits her, i get wounded. at ganun din naman sya sakin. something i'm deeply grateful for. siguro nga, sa sobrang ayaw namin na masaktan ng ibang tao ang isa't isa, kami na mismo ang nakakasakit sa sarili naman. pero lam na namin yun. pag nagaaway kami, pinapalipas nalang namin. kasi, lam namin na lalo kaming magkakasakitan pag pinilit namin.

may mga kupal nga lang na makaganti lang, nagpupumilit na sirain kami. pero salamat sayo ha? dahil sa ka KSP-han mo, naging ok na kami ulit. tenchu tenchu. haha.

kagabi, nanood kami ng Rockestra concert. si quat, si antot, si lo at syempre mawawala ba naman ako. masya. pichur pichur. harutan. palakpakan. sigawan. kantahan.

pero mas masya yung kwentuhan. nag usap na kami ni hanne. parang yung dati na ulit. dun sya samin natulog, eh, nag stay pala, hindi kami natulog pareho, kaya bangag kame. naki pag laro sa mga puppies. kumain. pero higit sa lahat, napag usapan na ang dapat pag usapan. tapos na. period. lab ko yan si hanne. kaya lahat ng umaaway jan, kinakalaban ko. dahil pag may nang away jan, ako at sama na rin si chloe kahit malayo sya, ang kakalaban sayo.

nakapag usap na rin kami ni joeybear. nabayadan ko na yung kwento kong utang. okay na. masaya na ko na napangiti at natawa sya sa mga kinuwento ko sa kanya. masaya ko kahit paulit ulit nyang sinasabi "tangina mo camz". haha. labyu jho.

at naka ym ko rin si kalowi. aning parin. some things never change no matter which part of the globe she's in right now. kakampi ko pa rin sya forever.

sa mga prensporeber ko tel, fufu, and arjay, salamat sa walang sawang pag papaalala. hehe, drama ko. lab ko kayo. na appreciate ko lahat ng mga advices nyo sakin, promise. kaya thank you sobra. labyu. prens poreber.

sa mga classmates ko na nagpayo, natuwa samin/para samin, sa mga umintindi at na ki share sa saya. salamat sa inyo. sobra. kina kate, nina, rica, mitch, hotness, closeness.

kaya ko to.

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*habang naglalakad papunta sa Wai Ying restaurant*

mommy: tinitignan ka nila
camz: eh maganda ko eh
mommy: kamuka kita eh
mommy and camz: hahaha

astig sa China Town. pag may oras si mommy, at hindi kami tinatamad, pumupunta kami dun pag Sunday para lang kumain. napakasarap naman kasi. sa Wai Ying reastaurant sa may Salazar (?) Street, try nyo yung rice toppings nila. sandamukal eh. kahit isang order lang kinukuha namin, di pa rin namin maubos. sarap pramis.

okay. i admit it. he is a tough act to follow. tell me, after reading what he wrote, what more can i say? i have attempted many times, but each time i am in front of a PC, i find myself at a loss. words simply ecape me. nagdradrama na nga. buti pa daw si secret lab. haha. 

i'm just not used to this kind of thing. i'm happy with him (duh). it's been fun, really, after almost four years of non communication (for obvious reasons) we have so much to talk about, to share. i can't help laughing, for it's funny when one thinks about it. we've been classmates for four years now and yet we can count count with our fingers the times when we spoke to each other. it's been fun chatting and gossiping, catching up on wasted years, talking about wrong turns and hidden--well, censored na. hahahaha. i'd rather not elaborate. i'm sure he knows what i mean.

some might say it's too soon, and others, too late. but for us, for me at least, the time is just right. right now is just right. for years we have almost nothing, and (for) now we have (almost) everything. well we all know what they say. the best part of a relationship is always at the beginning. then if this is the case then i wish, as he once told me, that may we always stay here.

puro simula. puro simula.

much love to hanne, for i know, though she may not exactly understand what i'm feeling right now, that deep inside her, she's really happy for me. and i'm really happy for her too. seems like our shobe is growing up at last. awabyu antot.

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bago lablayp. syempre build up tayo jan.

mommy: sino nagbigay ng rose mo?
camz: sikret
mommy: kunyari ka pa
camz: *nakakita ng chance na mag buld up* ... matalino yun.
mommy: ha?
camz: DL nga sya eh
mommy: anong DL?
camz: Dean's List
mommy: oh?
camz: napili pa sya mag cover ng SEA Games
mommy: galing ah. mabuti naman may papakilala ka na sakin na may utak. lahat ng pinapakilala mo sakin pruo utak langgam.
camz: 0_o

hehe.

*ang yabang ko, parang ako yung nag DL eh, wehehehe. pagbigyan nyo nako mga prens, minsan lang naman. apir!

welkam to tabs famili fufu!

visit niyo sya dali! --> fufu.

ako nag layout nyan. di pa syado ayos pero pede na. konting kalikot na lang.

o ayan fu, may "highlight" na pangalan mo. wehehehe.

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