Paradise Philippines

during the summer while doing an activty for the Journalese workshop, an incoming senior told me that junior year was the year he spent straight hours in front of the pc.

he wasn't kidding.

yesterday, we went to BA's house for the layout of our magazine, so from 11 o'clock in the morning to 9 in the evening Tel and I did the layout until our eyes were red and our eyebags acquired a life of their own.

this morning i spent two hours doing the end-of-term paper for Literature.

and now i am about to spend another 2 hours or so on expensive pc rental doing more layout.

*sigh*

as of now:

THINGS TO DO:

* feature article
* lit journ project
* literature term paper
* website layout for two subjects
* drawing for filipino report
* study about 300 or so pages for oral exams in Filipino
* study all the other subjects for final exam * layout magazine artcles

Currently feeling: like i deserve a medal

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masarap magtagalog pag yung tipong super sawa ka na sa kakapiga ng utak mo kakaingles para sa mga tangnang article na yan na hindi mo naman maintindihan kung bakit importante sa buhay mo.

pagod na pagod nako. buti nalang walang pasok sa martes at huwebes, dahil mababasa ko ang pagkahaba habang handouts sa Filipino Journ, siguro mga after two years tapos ko ng mabasa yun.

tapos bullshit na Experimental Psych, kahit gusto ko yung putangnag subject na yan eh wish ko lang hindi naman kami sadistahin ni sir Magkasi, at sana wag niya kaming pahirapan.

at isa pa kinakabahan ako dahil sobra daw manigbak ng website yung prof namin sa Computer. mas madali sana yung buhay ko kung may pc ako dahil makakapag install ako ng Adobe FrontPage, pero dahil sa ako ay isang hamak na dukha kelangan kong magpakahirap sa html at gumastos sa pag arkila sa pc.

pasensya na ang lahat kung walang saysay ang utak ko.

Currently feeling: djssdgjogj

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some people just can't get over it.

someone hates me (or at least doesn't like me) for something so trivial, it's not even worth mentioning.

apparently, it's not trivial for her. what a moron.

i don't like her, either, even from the first days of college. although not for the reasons my malicious classmates would assume.

not that i seriously mind, no. at times, i find it kind of funny. but it gets so old, it's been what? three years? jeez. wouldn't it irritate you if you catch someone staring at you sinisterly? i suppose she's like that to everyone, she's always been kind of bitchy. it's one of the many reasons why i never liked her.

and yeah, to you, if you are smart enough to figure out that i am talking about you, well this is for you:

GET OVER IT.

Currently feeling: annoyed

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damn. i just finished our groups webpage. *whoopee* at last i can breath a little freely.

it's not that great, since we lacked time, but if you guys wanna go see it you can go here.

ang saya ko! best friend ko na ang mga pc na nagamit ko. feeling ko mas kilala na nila ko kesa sa mga barkada ko hihi,

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just or you to get an idea of how i actually feel:

thursday: from 11:30 hanggang 9:00 nag layout ng magazine
friday:1 and a half hour kong ginawa yung header nung
website namin.
sunday:from 7:00am hanggang 8:00pm nag layou ulit ako ng website
monday: from 9:00am hanggang2:00pm naglayout ng tangnang website nanaman.

layout dito layout dun, kaya ko nga nasabi na bestfriend ko na yung mga pc na nagamit ko dahil pucha ang tagal kong nakaharap dun. tapos nung presentation na imagine-in niyo kung ano nararamdaman ko nung sinabi ng prof ko:

"i'll be very straigt forward with you, did someone elp you with this site?"

at dahil hindi naman ako ma reason out na tao, ito lang ang nasabi ko:

"no sir, ako lang gumawa niyan"

in farness naging indignant on my behalf ang mga groupmates ko. thanks groupmates.

pero fuck parin. gawin ko lahat yunsa harap niya nang malaman niyang ako gumawa nun eh..

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YOU AND I BOTH
by: Jason Mraz

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
And taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of,
Others only dream of the love
The love that i love

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of,
and if you could see me
Now you and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story
more importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm already finally out of

And it's okay if you have go away
just remember the telephone works both ways
and if I never ever hear it ring
if nothing else I'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else and that's okay
cause I'll remember everything you sang

you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm already finally out of words.

Currently reading: angels and demons

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from the trailer of that movie, they said something like:

"they say when you meet the one, time stops"

in all my life, i've never felt such hapiness that it seemed like time stopped. or at least, wished that time would stop.

right now, i feel deppressed. although i have absolutely no reason to feel this way.

i'm sorry baby.. i'm such a terrible person..

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"a flawless diamond, born of the ancient elements in such perfection that those who saw it can only stare in awe.."

i've never really seen the so-called beauty of diamonds and other gems. to me, they are useless decorations that causes greed and crime.

but when i saw the illuminati diamond, i was, as the passage stated, so mesmerized that i can only stare at it in awe.

(wanna see it?)

Currently feeling: mesmerized

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kaya papalitan ko na ulit tong layout ko.

pagtapos kong gawin yung ibang layout ng mga nagpapagawa.

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ako naramdaman ko. bigla ba namang umalog yung pc eh. buti nalang nandit bebe ko. hindi ako masyadong natakot.

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bago
ang
layout
ko.



ayus ba? hihi.

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hello boring days..

anyway, i decide to post the final project i submitted for literary journ. course it's not as good as tal's essay, since i was never really much of a creative writer.. but i hope some people could learn a thing or two from this.

(The Sixty- Peso Murder)

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just found out last night. we thought (coco and i) that we have until at least tomorrow. but as it turns out, my mom got the cash and we are moving today.

i knew that in a lot of ways, i've always kind of taken him for granted, and i've always thought that he needs me more than i need him. but until last night, i never realized just how much i depended on him too. on his steady, caring ways and his unwavering acceptance. i like knowing that after a harsh day of school where professors constantly kick our asses, he would be waiting for me, ready to give me a hug. i like knowing that i am the fist person he would seek when he wakes up in the morning. i like knowing that when i'm throwing one of my childish tantrums, he is waiting patiently for me to calm down. that when my mom and i fight, he would be there to embrace me.

i know, this is probably a trivial thing to most people. but i dare anyone who has spent 5 months and 20 days in someone's company to say that when the time of separation comes, you would not feel as i am feeling now.

coco has many faults, but i love him for it, just as he loved me for mine. i dare anyone to tell me that after days on end of being together, making plans for forever and building our lives together, i can simply take this lightly.

coco and i stitched ourselves do neatly into one another, and now that we have to be apart, i feel like i'm bleeding. i don't know if our relationship can survive this.

and that thought kills me.

Currently feeling: :c

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went to my mom's office yesterday and doodled to my heart's content using photoshop. i made an array of pictuers including my new background..

yun lang. hehe.

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* una sa lahat, pasensya na sa mga taong nagpapaturo kung pano maglagay ng playlist na hindi ko tinuruan, yun lang naman ang bukod tanging bagay na pinagdadamot ko dahil una, kinuha ko lang rin yun kay iggy, pangalwa, nakakatamad ituro dahil mahaba yung codes, pangatlo, mejo (mejo lang) naiinis ako pag nagpupunta ko sa ibang site na makikita kong parehas na parehas yung songs, di man lang iniba, o kaya naman i nirearrange man lang sana yung mga kanta, kasi nung kinopya ko yun kay iggy, naghanap naman anko ng mga kanta ko, nagpakahirap rin akong itype isa-isa, sana man lang naiba ng onti yung ayos. hehe. tindi eh.

* gamit na ni ryza yung layout na ginawa ko sa kanya. nagustuhan naman niya, kahit na mejo simple lang yun. masaya na ako pag masaya ang "clients" ko. hehe.

* new house: ayos naman. mukhang binagyo pa dahil gulo pa ng mga gamit, sabagay lage naman ganun sa bahay, dapat pala sinabi ko mukhang nag end of the world sa bahay namin.

* walang masyadong ipis, hindi masyadong maalikabok, mas maliit pero mas gusto ko. kundi nga lang malayo kay coco saka maingay (tabi kasi ng highway, minsan sa sobrang ingay kala ko nagugunaw na mundo) mahal ko na yung bahay na yun

yun lang. whew.

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are you gonna stay with the one who loves you?
or are you going back to the one you love?
someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you,
someone's gonna thank the stars above..

baduy, shet.
pero serious. kung ikaw ang papipiliin, ano pipiliin mo?

Currently feeling: sooper confused.

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damn i am one bored kid.

* i'm thinking of putting up a site that offers stuff like tutorials and layouts and backgrounds and icons, but i'm still a bit uncertain about it. mainly because i won't gain anything out of it except kill my boredom.

* i was about to do something that i know i will regret, but a few incidents shocked me out of my dream. i don't know why it keeps happening, and i don't understand why even though it was ages ago, i still effing hurt.

* i don't know if i will be enrolled this semester. i don't know if my mom will come up with enough cash in time.

* i hate him for hurting me over and over.

* i hate myself because i risked everything for nothing.

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announcement: hindi ako Chloe the Third.

mga kadahilanan ng matagal kong pagkawala sa tabulas:

* dahil sa naiingit ako sa pagka ganda ganda at newly renovated na site ni koie, eh kinati nanaman tuloy akong mag layout. oo. adek na nga talaga ako. ang kaso, hindi pa ako sawa sa aking pinky board. kaya naisipan kong pagdiskitahan ang site ni chloe, tutsl, hindi naman niya nilalog in yung account niya. sa katunayan, dahil sa sobrang pagka stagnant ng tabs niya, eh muntik na itong itlogan ng lamok. kaya kinalikut ko ang layout niya! tada! bago na ngayon. pero hindi pa tapos. hindi pa gawa yung links niya.

* isa pa, tuwing nagiinternet ako eh, niyayaya akong maglaro ng Battle Realms ni Coco. syempre, naramdaman kong kailangang itayo ang bandila ng mga kababaihan sa larangan ng computer games kaya nakikipaglaro ako. kaso, mandaraya ang boyfriend ko. natatalo rin ako.

nga pala, nakita ko na ang grades ko. eto sila oh:

FIL 2 -------2.25
JRN 205 ---2.0
JRN 206 ---2.0
JRN 207 ---1.75
JRN 210 ---1.5
LIT 103 ---1.5
PSY 210 ----2.0
SPN 1 INC

alam kong hindi sila ganun katataas, pero, sobrang saya ko na jan. sobra. akalain mong makakuha pako ng ganyan, smantalang ang tanging gawain ko lang naman sa klase eh mag-ingay, tumawa, maggulo, at tumulala. astig diba.

pahabol: arjay ungas ka. adik ka lang kasi sa pagpost ng melodramatic entries.

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kahapon, nagpunta kame ni mommy sa Divisoria.

pumunta kame sa Tutuban Mall.

hindi pa ako nageenroll. pero baka makapagenroll ako. sabi ko sa mommy ko, yung sukli sa pang enroll ko dekwat ko na, kasi gusto ko bumili ng sandals. payag naman siya.

nung napadaan kame sa National Bookstore, sabi ko titingin ako sandali.

may nakita akong libro tungkol sa HTML at sa CSS. 495.75 ang price nun.

i got this far with my HTML skills with almost no help at all from anyone. imagine what i could learn if i have that book.

gusto ko yun gusto ko yun gusto ko yun.

looks like my sandals are gonna have to wait.

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